A relative in Nevada forwarded this. Unfortunately, many of these definitions seem to apply to the Democrats, especially in Chicago. It's politics, it's money.
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The Republican Dictionary
(with latest definitions)
Alternative energy sources n. New locations to drill for gas and oil.
Bankruptcy n. A punishable crime when committed by poor people but
not corporations.
Cheney, Dick n. The greater of two evils.
Climate change n. The day when the blue states are swallowed by the oceans.
Compassionate conservatism n. Poignant concern for the very wealthy.
Creationism n. Pseudoscience that claims George W. Bush's resemblance
to a chimpanzee is totally coincidental.
DeLay, Tom. 1. v. Past tense of De Lie; 2.n. Patronage saint.
Democracy n. So extensively exported that the domestic supply is depleted.
Fox News n. [Probably an Anglicism of the French; Faux News] Fiction.
Free markets n. Halliburton no-bid contracts at taxpayer expense.
Girly men n. Males who do not grope women inappropriately.
Growth n. 1. The justification for tax cuts for the rich. 2. What
happens to the national debt when Republicans cut taxes on the rich.
Habeas corpus n. [Lat.] Archaic Legal term no longer in use (See Patriot Act).
Healthy forest n. No tree left behind.
Honesty n. Lies told in simple declarative sentences--e.g., "Things
are going well in Iraq."
House of Representatives n. Exclusive club; entry fee $1 million to $5 million.
Laziness n. Term used to describe any period of time when the poor are
not working.
Leisure time n. Term used to describe any period of ti me when the
wealthy are not working.
9/11 n. Tragedy used to justify any administrative policy.
No Child Left Behind n. Government policy that insures success for
all through guaranteed jobs in the military.
Ownership society n. A civilization in which 1 percent of the
population controls 90 percent of the wealth.
Patriot Act n. The pre-emptive strike on American freedoms to prevent
the terrorists from destroying them first.
Senate n. Exclusive club; entry fee $10 million to $30 million.
Simplify v. To cut the taxes of Republican donors.
Stay the course interj. Slang.
Saying and doing the same stupid thing
over and over, regardless of the result.Voter fraud n. Term used to descri be a significant minority turnout.
Wal-Mart n. Model for the future nation-state.
Water n. Arsenic storage device.